Christian Essays

Divorce and remarriage

July 19th, 2010 - The Family

There are times when the Bible speaks with crystal clear clarity, and there are times when it speaks in an ambiguous, or ambivalent way. It may surprise readers to know that when it comes to the matter of divorce and remarriage, the meaning of God’s Word is by no means crystal clear. This is apparent when one approaches the subject by way of the many books and articles which have already been written about the subject.

For example a book by W. Heth, who spends many pages examining the meaning of Jesus’ words in Matthew 19:3-9. In Mr. Heth’s thoroughly researched book, page 136-147 he looks at the meaning of the Greek, the context, the audience, the subtle meanings which may have been buried in the words, the comments by other Bible scholars and so forth, and then he follows all this up with five pages of notes, or 44 separate numbered comments! What an enormous effort spent on so few words by Jesus.

Yet at the end of such complex arguments, which swing to and fro, speculating and reflecting, examining and conjecturing, one ends up more or less at the place where one begins, i.e. “Just what exactly did Jesus mean?”, and do we need to be a theological student to read the Bible, or can we take what Jesus said at face value? If Jesus meant His words to be understood only by an elite few, then He was doing the ordinary layperson a great disservice.

My approach is to begin somewhere else.

But before I do this, I would like to say the following: If I was a Law-abiding Jew I would probably begin in the Old Testament and quote the Law. Sticking to the letter of God’s Law I would quote Deuteronomy 24:1-4. But then if I were a Christian I would go to the words of Jesus where he said God had allowed divorce because of the hardness of the people’s hearts (Matt.19:8), and point out that Jesus was still determined to uphold the Law. “There” I would say, “The Law has not been abolished, therefore it is still against God’s law to divorce, except when people’s hearts are hard!”

But this simple approach becomes very difficult to uphold in the light of the following short list:

1. What about the prostitute who has never married but has slept with 50 men? Is the first man she slept with her ‘husband’?

2. What about the woman who marries, watches her husband march to war, and then, because of a report from the army to the effect that he has been killed, remarries?

3. What about the arranged marriage? If two children have no say in the marriage but are forced into it by rule of law, surely they have a case for divorce and remarriage?

4. What exactly constitutes marriage? Is it simply living together, or does it become a marriage at consummation? (Sexual union)

5. What about State marriages, where two people sign a sheet of paper at the Registrar’s office? Is this secular, totally non-Christian ceremony rated as the same as a Christian marriage “in the sight of God”?

6. What about the marriage where one member becomes a Christian and the other remains unsaved – the relationship may become brutal, miserable, and intolerable? Is the Christian not then free to divorce and remarry to a Christian?

7. What about the situation where two people are already previously divorced before they marry?

The legalist might take pleasure in using the Old Testament Law, but there are plenty of grey areas where the Law is not specific enough. One of these grey areas is the sexual union which normally follows a relationship, and leads to a child. In today’s modern world it is possible for conception to take place in a test tube, without either the man or the woman being anywhere near the new child. Is this ‘technically’ adultery? Some would argue that it is, others that it isn’t. Is sexual union crucial to marriage? When do two people actually become “one flesh?”- at sexual union or at the marriage ceremony?

This is why I prefer to start somewhere else.

I begin with John 1:17 “For the Law was given by Moses, but grace and truth came by Jesus Christ.” That word “grace” is not another word for “license” of course, so we must not force into it meanings which it does not carry. We cannot, for example, say that because of God’s “grace” we can now feel free to lie, steal, cheat and show disrespect towards our parents. But “grace” is another way of understanding the Father’s heart towards His children. Some people swing one way, into the Judge aspect of God and forget the Father aspect, while other people swing the Father way too much and forget the Judge. God is both.

So when we look at Matthew 19:7 onwards, we find the work of Law and Grace in the words of Jesus. He exercised both. In some cases he judged, in others he forgave. The woman taken in the act of adultery was dismissed, while the Pharisee was condemned. Jesus was flexible enough to treat each case on an individual basis, and not, as some would have it, like some blind justice machine.

In 19:7 the Pharisees thought they had caught the Lord out. They thought He had contradicted the Old Testament law. Hadn’t Moses made provision for divorce? A man could simply give his wife a written statement and then send her out of the house (Deut.24:1-4)

Jesus agreed that Moses had permitted divorce, not as God’s best for Mankind, but because of Israel’s backslidden condition. God’s ideal was and always has been that people should marry for life, and that divorce should never happen. Just think of the blessings that would follow from this! No more abandoned, insecure children. No more inter-family rivalry. No more contesting of wills. No more same-sex marriages. No more drifting, rootless people with unstable home-lives. No more fragmented, dislocated family members. And then again, on the positive side we would have fulfilled grandparents loving and helping to raise their grandchildren, and children growing up in the security of stable homes, with wonderful role models everywhere. And so on.

In Matt. 19:9 Jesus stated, with absolute authority, that the past leniency on divorce was henceforth discontinued. From now on, according to Jesus, there would be only one ground for divorce – “fornication”. If a person was divorced and remarried for any other reason, he or she was guilty of adultery.

In this verse Jesus also implied, or set up a logical inference, that where a divorce was obtained on the grounds of “fornication”, the innocent party was free to remarry. Otherwise divorce would serve no purpose not achieved by separation. After all, if a marriage could be broken up because of immorality, why not just separate? Why bother going through a divorce procedure?

It is at this point that the Pharisee-like Bible students jump in and begin to ask all sorts of difficult (and often rhetorical) questions. They suggest that “fornication” might mean something else, such as adultery, or pre-marital immorality which is discovered after marriage (Deut.22:13-21). Others suggest that Jesus was referring to Jewish marriage customs only, and that his “except” clause is only in Matthew because He was speaking to Jews. (Matthew is a sort of ‘Jewish’ gospel)

Matthew 19:10 shows us the disciples reacting in great surprise to Jesus. They leap in and push what He has said to a great extreme. They decide that it is better to never marry than to risk sinning and then have to go through a divorce. This is an argument from the extreme, and as we say “The exception does not prove the rule”. Jesus responded to their comments by pointing out that some people, by God’s grace, can remain single, while others need to marry. He then talked about eunuchs, or people who cannot, or do not, ever marry. (See 1Cor.7:7)

Just reiterating briefly, let us see where we have come to. Divorce was never God’s intention when He created humans. His plan and His ideal was for one woman to remain married to one man throughout life, with death being the only possible way of breaking the union (Rom.7:2,3) Jesus made this clear to the Pharisee by referring to the original pattern, way back in Genesis.

We also know that God “hates” divorce (Mal.2:16). By this we understand that God hates divorce which is not based on the correct grounds. We cannot say that He hates all divorce, because He Himself divorced His people Israel (Jer.3:8) He called His people His “Wife” and was married to them, until they began to turn away from Him to worship idols, which He interpreted as unfaithfulness to Him, a sort of spiritual adultery. On these grounds God was able to divorce His Wife Israel . . . but then Jesus came and died for Israel. Having died, He was then raised from the dead and on these grounds was able to re-marry Israel. Remarriage was possible because Israel’s Husband (God) had died, on the cross, therefore Israel was free of the original marriage and was now able to marry again.

In Matthew 5:31,32 and 19:9 Jesus taught that divorce was forbidden except when one of the partners had been guilty of sexual immorality. (In Mark 10:11,12 and Luke 16:18 the exception clause is omitted)

It seems possible to me that the reason neither Mark nor Luke recorded the whole statement by Jesus is simply that – they did not record it all. Their omission does not prove anything. Another point to notice is that Jesus did allow for divorce, though he never commanded it.

1Corinthians 7:12-16 teaches that divorce is acceptable when a believer is deserted by an unbeliever. Paul says that the remaining person is “not under bondage in such cases”, which means that the offended party is free to obtain a divorce (for desertion). It seems likely therefore, though it doesn’t actually say it, that this is the same exception clause which Jesus was speaking about in Matthew 5 and 19. In both cases the unbeliever probably leaves and starts living with someone else (or perhaps has an affair). Therefore the believer can be granted a divorce on Scriptural grounds only if the offending party commits adultery.

Some people say that while they agree that divorce is permitted in the New Testament, remarriage is not mentioned. But the problem with this argument is that it begs the question. Remarriage is not condemned. The innocent party, the believer who is cheated on, betrayed, and abandoned is free to remarry, because Jesus did not say this was not an option. It seems logical to me that the reason for scriptural divorce is to enable the offended party to remarry. It is the offending party, the adulterer, who is condemned.

In the list of difficult questions at the beginning of this essay, so many vague and grey areas were raised, it seems quite impossible to untangle them all with a simple black and white answer from the Bible. But such an answer does exist.

First of all, in the Christian world there should be no problem when we look at unlawful divorces and remarriages. There are several very clear, unambiguous rules governing Christian marriages.

But what of those marriages contracted before conversion? Many people come together who have dreadful past lives – prostitution, adultery, and so on. The Bible says all these things can be forgiven – see 1Cor.6:11, where Paul includes adultery in the list of sins in which the Corinthian believers had been involved before they became Christians. Pre-conversion sins do not bar believers from full participation in the Church, and Jesus sets us free of all our past lives.

But what about Christians who want a divorce, and one (or both) partners in the marriage want to remarry? This is more difficult to answer. I think the question turns on just one thing? On what grounds is the marriage to be dissolved? Is it simply cheating, dishonesty, an addiction, beating, or some other sin? Remarriage is not permitted on any of these grounds. If the reason for the divorce is adultery or fornication, then there is solid ground for divorce.

But having said all this, I think it must be said that all Christians are answerable to God alone for their choices. “Whatsoever is not of faith is sin”(Rom.14:23), and “Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling” (Phil.2:12), and “let every man be fully persuaded in his own mind” (Rom.14:5) some room must be made for “grace”, because God is a Father as well as a Judge. God’s immense love is expressed in His longsuffering, and patience, tolerance and forbearance towards us His erring children. We do not live in a perfect world, and it seems to me that God prefers to make the best out of a bad situation, rather than impose a sort of tyranny of obedience on His people.

This is not to say that we are free to be disobedient, but in some situations it seems that things are best left as they are. If we follow the strictly legal view, we may cause all sorts of much worse problems, and all in the name of obedience. For example, what if we have a combined family, where two Christians bring their respective children from two previous marriages together, and the new family is formed. A reasonable amount of love and harmony exists in this combined family, and the children are secure and stable. Along comes the legalist and says they must separate because their original marriages were not dissolved on “scriptural grounds”. Think of the misery that may follow. Children torn apart, husband and wife living separately again, misery and chaos springing from the split, and really no good at all coming from the action – except ‘obedience’.

Again, I’d like to say that the elders, (if the fellowship has any), are there to help solve situations like this. They ought to examine the situation, weighing up what the Bible says with the people involved, and when they make a decision it ought to be followed.

In summing up, we ought to remember that God’s Word contains two kinds of directive: Laws and Principles. In the Law category, there is usually no problem interpreting what God wants. “Thou shalt not steal” is clear enough. New Testament rules are also very clear – as clear as the Ten Commandments. But there are also Principles, and these are often mistaken for Laws. Principles are general governing guidelines, which are firm enough to indicate a certainty, but general enough to be shaped to fit changing situations. “Love your enemies” is a Principle, “Train up a child” is another. No specific details are included with Principles, so the believer is free to interpret the meaning in light of their own particular situation.

In the matter of divorce and remarriage, the Principle is clear. Marriage should be for life, divorce is only allowed on certain grounds, and separation is permitted on others. The elders are allowed to make rulings on some matters if asked, and the individual is free to follow his or her conscience. It is because of this freedom of conscience aspect that we have the situation where:

* One Christian thinks slavery is OK, while another fights to abolish it,

* One Christian thinks it is OK to drink alcoholic drinks, while another condemns it,

* One Christian gladly dons a military uniform and marches to war, while another says it is wrong to shoot other men,

* One Christian plays and enjoys Rock music, while another says it is ‘of the devil’,

* One Christian likes to wear lots of makeup, while another thinks it is worldly and ungodly to do so.

When it comes to marriage and remarriage, there is a certain degree of freedom of conscience. Personally I am not in any position to sit in judgement on any two people who may be considering marriage. It is my job only to present as best I can what God says. If two Christians, who have past lives of adultery or just plain chaos, ask me if they should marry I can only say what I have just written and leave them to make their own decisions. It is, after all, between the individual and God, and each of us alone has to live with what follows, should we make a wrong decision. It is God who sees the hearts, who weighs the motives, who knows our thoughts. He alone can see the end from the beginning. If our hearts are free before God, then we are walking in the light, and God will ultimately decide our future. That, when all is said and done, is the final word.

Children

July 10th, 2010 - The Family

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“Unless you are converted and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven”.
Mat. 18:3
Children are as precious to God as sparrows, lilies and hairs. They have QUALITIES which God wants us to have. The following is general only:
1. Transparency. This means freedom from duplicity, craftiness, deceit, double-dealing, and hypocrisy. Children are easy to ‘read’, that is, they wear their thoughts on their faces. They are not clever or sophisticated enough to hide their motives or plans. A good parent has look at his or her child’s face and tell immediately if the child is being honest or not.
2. Teachability. This means being trustful, genuine, sincere, and ready to believe the truth. Children are open to the truth. They tend to believe everything an adult tells them, because they don’t know any better. God wants us to be open to what He says, without questioning or criticising.
3. Humility. Children are pliable. They can be knocked back, forgive, and carry on very quickly. They are friendly, and willing to obey, in order to please someone they love.
4. Children have many wonderful qualities, which, if they were all expressed here, would fill several pages. As Wordsworth noted, children come into this world “trailing clouds of glory”. They bring, in their earliest years, the innocence and purity of their Creator, which is quickly marred and spoiled as they grow up. The child is the nearest thing we have as a representation of God, perhaps up to age five. But the sinful nature, which comes with every child, pulls their soul away from what is right, and draws them into what is wrong, encouraging them to feed on ignoble and immoral things . . . the innocence of the child is smothered, and the adult emerges, brain-washed by the mind-set, peer pressure and lifestyle of the world.
But God wants to wash away all the dirt of this world, and restore the image of the child in us. Christians do not need to commit intellectual suicide to be like children. It is the QUALITIES of childhood which God wants us to have. Innocence, love, joy, freedom, peace, living one day at a time, not worrying about bills or the future, resting in the security of God’s arms.
Was Jesus like a child? In every way yes, though he was also the perfect example of a mature Man. He knew all about sin, yet he never sinned. He knew every emotion, yet he never gave in to lust, temper, jealousy, envy, hate and so on. He had all wisdom available to him, yet he spoke with simple words, and told small, colourful stories. He drew people to himself because he was gentle and kind. This vast power was used not in violent acts, but in healing and restoring. He was the supreme Child.

Families

April 24th, 2010 - The Family

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First of all I would like to say that I was extremely reluctant to start this essay because of the daunting task of dealing with the vast area which the topic covers. Despite being limited to human families ( and thus excluding all animal communities), the subject still covers many different cultures, about which I know almost nothing, and an incredibly wide range of personalities, about which I know about the same. It is hard enough to know one’s self, let alone other people! You see, people are made in the image of God. They are complex. Unique. Individuals destined to progressively change into the likeness of God. They are not robots, and they cannot be slotted conveniently into simple categories. When you have a collection of humans together – a family – you compound the difficulties.

So when it comes to an examination of something as complex and special as a family, there is very little room for dogmatism. What works in one family may not work in another. There are far too many people who have decided that their particular code, or set of rules is universal, when in fact it happened to work with one family in one culture. The same set of rules may have the opposite effect in another family, in another culture – or next door.

Which is why I always look askance at the plethora of books currently available on the subject of : raising kids, building marriage, discipline, rules for the home, relationships, dating, teenagers, teaching toddlers, and so on. The best book are the ones which present principles. The worst books are full of rules.

Every parent is an individual, and every child is an individual.

Anecdotal evidence has shown me that the same discipline which works on one child will not work on another. What I call the ‘creative’ child (some parents say ‘arty’) is not bothered much by the same discipline which has a dramatic behaviour modifying effect on his or her brother or sister. For some children a simple word, spoken softly, has a huge effect, while a smack has the same effect on another child. I once saw a six year old boy burst into tears simply because his mother warned him about a possible danger in the paddock he was standing in. Her slighly harsh tone had been a whip to his mind – whereas another child may have needed his father after him with a real stick to get him to move.

Having said this, I tread on eggshells as I approach the topic . . .

Turning the world upside-down.

There is an interesting statement in Acts 17:6,7 which may not at first glance seem to be relevant, but I think it is a key verse:

“And when they could not find (Paul and Silas), they drew Jason and certain brethren to the rulers of the city, crying, These that have turned the world upside down are come hither also;

Whom Jason has received: and these all do contrary to the decrees of Caesar, saying that there is another king, one Jesus.”

Another king. This is what the Jewish Christians were proclaiming. Jesus was the real king, the King of kings, over all other kings, supreme and majestic, ruling over all the little kings and rulers on earth. Ruling over Caesar.

By claiming Jesus as the greatest king, the Christians were denying Caesar’s claim to be the supreme ruler of Rome. This was treason. It was also an inversion of the status quo.

In many other ways Christians are expected to challenge the accepted ‘norms’ of the world, and commit social treason, despite the trouble it causes.

Christianity is supposed to turn things upside down – which means of course that Christianity is actually the right side up! It is the world, the unsaved people, the rejecters of God’s Word, who are upside down. All people need to do, in order to turn themselves on their heads, is to stop referring to the Bible for guidance, then they automatically join the millions of upside down people around them.

Please bear with me for a while. I haven’t forgotten the topic.

Jesus constantly, daily, turned things the right way up. For example, he spent time with children. In his day Rabbis regarded children with disinterest, but Jesus picked them up and carried them, hugged them, spent time with them, showed them respect, and even pointed to them as examples of how God’s children ought to be.

Jesus also taught things which were the opposite to the way the world saw things. For example :

It is more blessed to give than to receive (Acts 20:35)

Care must be shown for enemies (Rom.12:20)

Forgive and bless your enemies (Rom.12:21)

Don’t hoard earthly things (Mat. 6:19)

Select your church leaders from those who are least esteemed (1Cor.6:4)

See God’s hand of blessing in every adversity (Rom.8:28)

Service to others is more important than being in charge over them (Gal.5:13)

Galations 5 lists a whole raft of life-style differences – avoid adultery, idolatry, drugs, hatred, arguing, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, drunkenness and so on. All these things are common to unsaved people, and part of their ‘normal’ lifestyle. It should not be so for Christians.

So when we come to examine what the Bible says about ‘families’ we should expect to find the same ‘turning upside-down’ principle. Whatever the world considers normal for a family is probably quite wrong.

Unfortunately the matter is not as clear as black and white. There are many Christian principles at work in the world, with their corresponding successes.

For example, the Bible lays stress on the parents being the main nurturers and educators of their children. I will spend a little time on this one – because it is a good example of how Christians miss the Bible teaching on raising kids because they are so immersed in the contemporary culture.

The world tends to use all sorts of methods to avoid parents teaching their own children – kindergarten, pre-school, Public Primary schooling, Private schooling, university and Polytech. Parents in the West have grown up with the State-school system, and consider it unusual if children are NOT dropped off at the local Primary school as soon as they reach 5 yrs old.

A recent study has shown that there is a direct correlation between the amount of time spent in child care and undesirable traits, like aggression, defiance and disobedience. The study, which followed 1,100 children in ten cities and in many settings : relatives, nannies, large day care centres, preschools and more, over 10 years, showed that “as time goes up, so do behaviour problems. Children who spend over 30 hours a week in child care are more demanding, more non-compliant and more aggressive” – Dr. Jay Belsky, National Institute on Child Health and Human Development, and National Institutes of Health.

One reason why children not brought up by their parents should develop this underlying anger and hostility towards other people is probably their lack of contact with the two people God created to be their best friends – their parents. Nothing can replace the relationship which God designed between parents and their children. (This is not a criticism of single parents, or parents who have no choice because of their circumstances).

The Christian Homeschooling movement has gathered tens of thousands of parents and children together into its ranks, with consistent results. Properly homeschooled children are usually ahead of their State-schooled counterparts academically, and also are better adjusted socially (ever tried to talk to a typical Public school kid? – they don’t know how to converse with adults). Homeschooled children usually become great achievers too, because they have more confidence, and they have learned how to relate to God.

So broadly speaking, Christian homeschooling is the correct way to nurture and educate children. All other systems may work well too, but they are not the best way.

When we look at the ‘family’ we have a similar contrast between the Christian model, and the world’s model. Again, very broadly, the world’s model might be summarised this way :

1. Emphasis on materialism. Children are raised in an environment where happiness and success are measured by material increase and professional promotion.

2. Education highly valued. The most important abilities are seen to be Science and Maths, with other subjects coming further down, and ending with Art. Spiritual values are not seen as valuable because they lack earning power – unless the child (God forbid!) joins the clergy and becomes a professional Pastor/Minister.

3. Women. It is not wrong for a woman to have a job, but women today are encouraged to put their profession before their children. The job, the income, and material increase are put on a higher priority level than home-making and child-raising.

4. Entertainment. The most important thing for most kids is the maintenance of entertaining activities, and experiences. Life is seen as a potential entertainment theme park, which exists solely for those who want to spend their whole lives in it. Unfortunately, many adults have the same mindset.

5. Throw away society. Because so many things today are disposable, families tend to treat everything in much the same way. Abortion and euthanasia are becoming more acceptable. Life is cheapened by the daily media portrayal of evil and ugly events. Selfishness is fostered, rather than service to others. Many familes are nothing more than a bunch of selfish, self-centered individuals who spend most of their time trying to get what they want, even though the price is the destruction of their family, home, and stability.

The Christian model of a family is not stated anywhere in the Bible. It would be wonderful if it was. Christian parents could simply turn to the chapter and read off the list all the specific commands for parents and children, and then put them into practise.

But the list is there, tucked into various chapters and verses, scattered throughout the whole Bible. The reason this is so, I think, is because ‘family’ is such a big subject, with so many variations and subtlelties, it cannot be encapsulated into a simple list.

Perhaps the greatest code for any family is ” Therefore all things whatsoever you would that men should do to you, do you even so to them:” Matthew 7:12 and also Phil.2:14.

As far as I can see, God’s emphasis is not so much on the ‘family’ as a whole group, but on the individual. In fact, I would go so far as to suggest that many advocates of ‘the family’ have been so extreme as to make it into a sort of idol. There is nothing in the Bible about the elevation of sons, daughters, mothers, fathers, uncles, aunts, families, or any other institution or social group to a place of divine sanctity. Jesus is the Head of the Church. Jehovah is Head of Israel. Everything relates to God in terms of Creator and created. People who make the family to be more important than it really is are liable to be knocked down rather roughly.

But individuals are extremely important to God. Most of the Bible is about God and individuals. When larger groups are described, God usually picks out an individual for specific instructions, or decribes some detail in one individual’s life. Many of the books of the Bible are named after individuals. The reason for this, I think is because God deals with each person on earth as of they were the only person on earth. God sees everyone, but He is so infinite He can deal with each person as if they are Adam without Eve, or Eve without Adam. Alone, on the planet, with no other person to relate to.

In the New Testament, God never addresses any family. He always speaks to ‘the church’ or an individual.

So when it comes to the husband and wife, the father and mother, God’s instructions are given on a one-to-one basis. This is because God expects the husband to walk the narrow way regardless of how the wife walks it – and vice versa. God expects Mums to be Christians regardless of how the Dads, or children, or neighbours behave. God expects the Dads to be Christians regardless of whether the Mum is a Satanist with a drug problem, or whether the teenage kids are going wild, or whether the baby has chronic colic.God also expects the Christian children in the family to stay on track regardless of the behaviour of the parents.

But what about Christian parents?

Parents represent God to the children. God created (almost) everything male and female because God expresses His Nature best in terms of male and female. God is not just male, nor is He just female. The two aspects compliment each other, and give us a balanced view of Him.

So Dad should be male, and Mum should be female. The children should see a clear balance between the two people, who work together and compliment each other.

This is why marriage is so important to God. In the Christian context, when a man and woman decide to marry, they become one flesh (The Hebrew word is ‘echad’=one, the same word used in “The Lord thy God is one (‘echad’) God”, and so represent in their oneness the reality of God.

This is why children become damaged when their parents separate.

It is the responsibility of Christian parents to do their best to represent God to their children, but just what this entails is another area which must be dealt with in terms of principles, because there is no hard and fast list of rules.

I would summarise the responsibilities of parents this way :

1. Love. Unconditional love must be shown towards the children. Parents must be able to apologise when they make mistakes, and forgive when they are wronged. Children are not adults – they are tangled messes, full of foolishness and ignorance. A five year old still has trouble telling the difference between truth and lies. They have almost no experience, and very little interest in the world. Parents should be condescending (not patronising), patient, tolerant, careful not to offend. What children learn from their parents they eventually transfer to their understanding of God, so parents ought to try and represent the True God accurately.

2. Submission. Husbands must be submissive to God, and then to their wives and children, as well as their boss and other authorities. Wives must be submissive in the same order. (Sadly, there are some ‘fundamentalist’ Christian men who think that wives are little more than slaves – and their children learn a terrible lesson as they see the suffering of their mother under the ‘macho’ fist of their father).

3. Sacrifice. Each parent has to work out what this means for themselves. Children need attention, time and material blessings. Parents are sometimes quick to spend money but not spend time. Some children would gladly leave their room full of things just for an hour of quality time with their Mum or Dad.

4. Law. Every home needs the Law. This means a set of rules with prescribed punishments. The children must understand that THEY are responsibile for what follows if THEY break the rules. If there is no system of fair and just punishment in a home, anarchy soon prevails. Children who are not disciplined become insecure and rebellious, and they feel unloved.

Children.

Jesus repeatedly referred his disciple’s attention to children. Because he did this, we ought to think about what He said, and see if there are any principles which parents can apply to their work. Matthew 18:1 At the same time came the disciples unto Jesus, saying, Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?

“And Jesus called a little child to him, and set him in the midst of them,

And said, Verily I say to you, Except you be converted, and become as little children, you shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.

Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 18:2

Obviously, the key word here is “humility”, but with humility comes dependency. As a general rule (and there are always exceptions), children own almost nothing, yet they are usually happy with what little they do own. They are humble because they have no job, possessions or rank to protect.

They also live day by day, without trying to change or rule the world. They receive whatever is given to them and ask for things without embarrassment. They have very few choices in life, yet they enjoy life so much you’d think they were rich, compared to many adults who are bored and dissatisfied with life despite having huge wealth and freedom.

They trust, they forgive quickly, they love and care and feel for people unselfishly. They enjoy dancing and singing, and prefer to be with people than things. They think work is play, and they get enthusiastic about things – far more than adults do.

So, generally speaking, children demonstrate qualities which are quite often totally foreign to adults. So what can Christian parents learn from children?

To be more spontaneous. If a child discovers a beautiful flower, or a caterpillar, or wants to watch a leaf drift by on a river, parents ought to stop and enter into the experience too, rather than glance at their watch.

To be more dependant on God. Too often children say ‘God provides for me’ but they see their parents holding down two jobs and sadly dividing the pay-packet.. They hear Dad talk about Jehovah-Jireh, my Provider, but they see Dad working long hours and working way too hard to pay all the bills, because God, apparently can’t do anything without Dad’s help. They hear their parents talk about God being a place of Rest, but they see their parents getting stressed out over day to day problems. What does this tell the children about the relevance of God?

“For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.

For you have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but you have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.” Romans 8:14, 15

“Abba” in Greek, means “Daddy!”

“Abba” is the personal cry of a little child to his Dad. This tells us what sort of relationship Christian parents ought to have with God. If all the children see is Mum and Dad dressed in their best clothes, intoning seriously in the church pew on Sundays, they will get the impressing that God is only on duty one day a week, like some government official.

The Family Charter.

It is doubtful, I think, whether any family would be able to co-operate sufficiently to write a Charter, because the younger members would not see it as relevant, and the older members would feel it was superfluous. The parents, however, could write a list of expectations and refer to it from time to time. It could even go on the wall as a declaration of intent.

But when all the rules are boiled down, there really is only one rule – “Do to others as you would have them do to you”. This works as a rule under Grace, and as a rule under the Law. Children may obey it, even unwillingly, and Christians may obey it, from their hearts. Whichever approach is used, the rule works.

Other things Christian parents can do to direct their family towards heaven :

1. Posters. Christian posters with a verse or Bible message for the walls.

2. Ornaments. There are many Christian ornaments available.

3. Books. If there is a book shelf, stock it with Christian books – for all ages.

4. Videos. Hire or buy Christian videos. (Vege Tales, Odyssey, etc, )

5. Tapes. Christian radio stations can sometimes be bearable.

6. News sources. Challenge Weekly and Christian magazines are available. Creation mag.

7. Guests. Invite dynamic Christians to your home and let God work through them.

8. Events. Take your family to Christian events, guest speakers, shows, musicals etc.

Your example.

Children are always quick to copy what they see. If a visitor comes and the parents treat him/her with indifference, they will think maybe God is like that. If they hear parents criticising, and fault-finding someone who has visited, they will wonder if God is two-faced.

The following was addressed to elders, but it applies to all Christian parents :

“Feed the flock of God which is among you, taking the oversight . . . (not as) lords over God’s heritage, but being examples to the flock.

And when the chief Shepherd shall appear, you shall receive a crown of glory that fades not away.” 1Pet. 5:2-4

And to the children :

“Likewise, you younger, submit yourselves to the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resists the proud, and gives grace to the humble.

Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time” 1 Peter 5:5,6

The family is, without a doubt, one of the most important social units in the world. It is a miniature of the church, and the marriage part is a miniature of God. The children are a miniature of the unsaved world, which needs to be loved, nurtured and educated, and they can become the next generation of labourers in the vineyard. Parents who do a good job can release into the world an increase, which, over successive generations, can actually change the whole world. The greatest mission field is the home.

But Satan is also desperately keen to destroy Christian homes, which means that Christian parents must be vigilant, prayerful, and wise. Satan patrols the outskirts, like a hungry wolf, circling the flock, waiting for the weaker ones to stumble. He moves in for the kill . . . But vigilant parents stand in the way.

How does Satan work?

The long answer to this question is in my booklet ‘Running With The Wolves’. The short answer is this summary :

1. Peer pressure. Unsaved or worldly friends of your children will (usually unwittingly) lure them away.

2. The education system. State schooling is atheist, evolutionist and materialist. It is also operating within a democratic system, which places human power at the top, and leaves no place for God on His throne above the world.

3. Media. Songs, TV, videos and other forms of entertainment constantly whittle away at the truths of Christianity.

4. Cults, heresies and sects. Offering security, friendship, love and a sense of belonging, false Christians try to win the minds of your children.

And having said all this, I think there is only one more thing to add. I call it the ‘wild card’. Other people call it “free will”. Whatever its name, it is the ability which all people have, including children, to make choices.

The most loving, obedient, wonderful parents may still see their children turn out on the broad road. All the prayers, music, teaching and years of effort may seem to have been a total waste of time. Off goes their daughter, lives with a man, has a baby, gets married, experiments with drugs . . . Or there goes the son, sleeping round the city, crashes his car driving home from a wild party, still drunk as the ambulance arrives . . . And the parents wonder why?

Sad though the situation is, it is a pattern which has been repeated many times. Adam and Eve had a murderer for a son, the High Priest Aaron had two boys who had to be destroyed by God, Samuel’s sons were turned down because they were wicked . . .

In these situations, the parents have to ask themselves this question: Did we do our best to raise our children in God’s ways? If they can answer “yes” then they have discharged their duty. There is no place for guilt or remorse. All God requires of each individual parent is that they discharge their duty. The children make their own choices, and receive either rewards or punishments based on their own choices.

Because when you think about it, children come from God first. He uses a woman’s womb to birth them, and parents are, after all, only supervisors for a few years. Children belong to God, not their earthly parents, because He made them, so there is no place for possessive parents who think that children should be some sort of permanent addition to their home. God is the Possessor of every person He has made. Everything belongs to God. Parents belong to God just as much as their children. We own nothing.

…………………………………….

In closing, I think it is interesting to note that the only time “family” is translated in the New Testament from the word “patria” is in Ephesians: “For this cause I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named”

Eph. 3:14,15

“Patria” means “one’s own family”.

This is so significant. God, on the one hand, has given us the social group called the family, here on earth, as a sort of demonstration model of many spiritual truths, but in the end, when all’s been said, the only permanent family is our heavenly one. All Christian men are therefore brothers, and all Christian women are sisters, and God is the only Father we all have. This means that we ought to demonstrate to the world our family likeness – love, forgiveness, care, generosity, etc.

Are we behaving like family of God?

Advice from Dad

April 23rd, 2010 - The Family

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Dear daughter,

A few tips and helps from your dear old Dad.

I seem to have learned a lot of things the hard way, and I often wish my parents had explained certain things to me, instead of leaving me to find out by mistake and accident how things worked. The following is a summary of a few of the useful things I have learned over the years. You are welcome to read or not read on . . . .

The shape of life

Life is shaped like a diamond, as in the diagram. We begin at the base, (a dot) when we are born, and after a short time of total ignorance, we start to view life as an infinite expanse of unlimited possibilities. We dream, (and do not consider it impossible) of being anything – conqueror of Everest, colonist on a distant planet, Prime Minister, Master pianist, Tourer of the whole world, Great writer, Olympic champion, Genius, King . . .) and then, as we grow older we realise that the expanding lines of life reach a limit (corners). Now we have reached a point of youthful realism.

From that point on, the lines begin to come together again. We find that Time is not our friend. We realise that to be good at anything we have to work, practise and concentrate our energy. This means that whenever we choose to one thing, we will, by default be choosing not to do many other things.

death

time of old age corner

birth

At an older age we suddenly realize that life is actually very short, and that the lines of our potential to explore and accomplish and learn are beginning to converge to a dot. We also realize that those ‘old’ people we grew up with are actually pictures of ourselves, in a few short years. Physically, we begin to limit ourselves. We narrow our attention to fewer and fewer things, and then, finally, we realize that life is too short to do anything but a handful of things really well. Our dreams of conquering Everest or traveling to another planet are set aside, and we accept (grudgingly) the meagre ration of life.

Children have no idea what the Bible means when it says that life is short, but old people understand this only too well. Logically, since life is so brief, we ought to put the things of God above our own wishes, since we can expect no reward from God if we spend our lives living for ourselves.

Money.

Never loan money to anyone. Give, by all means, whenever you think it is necessary, but never make loans. You can destroy a friendship in a matter of a week or two, simply by lending money to your friend.

The value of money is always fluctuating, so if you make an investment, you ought to get some good advice from an expert. As far as I know, the safest investments are the lower-interest ones. The higher the interest the greater the risk that the thing you are investing in will fail.

If you invest in buildings, you can get a return by way of rent.

If you buy a house, your house may increase in value over the years, but you’d make very little profit for your trouble unless you were lucky.

Bonus Bonds are an extremely long shot, with perhaps only 2-3% returns unless you are lucky enough to hit a big prize, but at least you get your original investment back when you cash them in. Unfortunately, the returned money is not adjusted upwards to match inflation.

The best way to make money is to either sell a thing, or sell a skill.

The best way to view money is to first decide what level of material goods you will be content with. Many people set an impossibly high standard of living before them, and then struggle all their lives to reach it. The Bible condemns greed, and praises contentment. If you have food, clothes and a roof over your head, you should be happy, but the world always tries to tell you that you need more – much, much more.

People are your greatest assets.

Relationships.

Don’t play with fire. Keep non-Christians at arm’s length. Christian girls tend to attract non-Christian boys, and vice versa. If you are a girl never call a boy a ‘boyfriend’, and vice versa. ‘Boyfriend’ and ‘girlfriend’ means ownership. The expression means ‘my property’, or ‘I own this person’.

You have several very strong driving forces inside you. One is appetite for food – which of course you must satisfy, but not with gluttony or greed (the main cause of obesity). Another is need for sleep – which you must satisfy but not by being lazy or slovenly. Another is need for entertainment – which you must satisfy, but not by feeding at the pig-trough of the world. Another is need for acceptance – which you must satisfy, but not by trying to please your unsaved peer group. (God’s opinion of you is far more important than anyone else’s). Another is need for love – which you must satisfy, but not with lust or sexual sin.

Health.

Your body can take a tremendous amount of abuse, but life is short and it isn’t long before you realize that a foolish childhood diet has impaired your health for the rest of your life. Now that we know what foods contain (unlike past generations) we can actually maintain and nurture our bodies to gain the maximum strength and vitality out of them.

The ‘health food’ diet is the best. Keep to the ‘food pyramid’ – fruit, grains and cereals, with a little meat – and you will never regret it. While your ‘junk food’ friends begin to age prematurely, you will sail on into old age still able to move about with liberty.

Your body is God’s Temple – if you are a Christian. God says he will destroy your body if you continue to pollute it. See 1 Cor. 3:16-19.

Mind.

Your brain is like a sponge, sucking in everything you experience. You will not realize this through your youth, but when you are older, all the material that went into you brain while you were young, will actually be most of what makes you you when you are older.

Obviously, the best thing to do with your brain, is feed it the best. Choose carefully what you read, think about, hear, and see. Store the best, and later, the best will come out. You cannot get good material out of a rubbish tin. If you treat your mind like a rubbish tin, you will find only rubbish inside it.

Travel.

I found the best way to travel round my own country was on a bicycle, during good weather. The tyres were fitted with tubeless so I had no flats. The bike had pannier bags for clothes and shelter. The most important thing to take, or arrange for, is a good bed, as the trip is ruined if you miss out on sleep.

The advantages of bike-tripping : 1. Its free transport, 2. You can stop or move whenever you like, 3. You can camp anywhere suitable without paying fees, 4. You can travel slowly enough to see the world passing, and remember it. (The faster you travel, the less you remember) 5. Pedaling keeps you fit, and gives you a great appetite so the food tastes fantastic when you need to eat.

Take a little money, but only enough to get you from one ATM to the next. You can ‘play it by ear’ as you go – perhaps stopping for a day’s fruit-picking, or some other job. If you ask to stay at someone’s place, do something for them, i.e. chop wood.

Always make provisions for staying safe.

Sport.

The world says “It matters most if you win”. The Bible says “Do your best for Jesus”. These two philosophies are actually mortal enemies. The Bible actually discourages competitive sport in that it focusses more on individual effort rather than ‘winning’. Winning can lead to pride, and arrogance. It also reduces the self-esteem of those who don’t win.

If there was a race with 100 contestants picked at random off the street, would they all come first equal? Of course not. Who would receive the awards? The people who came first, second and third. This is how the world judges performance. This leads to pride.

God would say “Who tried their hardest, and did their best?” Perhaps every runner did – in which case every runner would receive an award.

Concentrate on doing you best and you can have maximum self-esteem. Concentrate on winning, and you will always face defeat, because, eventually, there is always someone who will beat you. You may do your best and still win, because your self-esteem is based on pleasing God, not Man. It is actually quite irrelevant to God as to whether you win or lose because the world is due to pass away, and what God wants is your best.

It is also interesting to notice that all records held by Man are those achieved during the fallen Creation, and only on this planet. It is all relative.

Marriage.

There are four kinds of love. Affection – the level of kittens suckling, need-love and mutual love, not deep or meaningful love, physical. Friendship – a strong mutual liking, with many ideals and beliefs and habits in common. Eros – the love of the physical shape and appearance. Charity (agape) – the love which gives regardless of thanks or appreciation. You need all four kinds of love to make a good marriage.

One good way to get to know what your ‘intended’ is really like is to talk to his or her parents. Of all the people in the world, parents know their children better than anyone.

Affection is a give and also a need love, so it depends on the other person continuing to give to your needs. Lonely people often confuse affection for love, because they desperately need someone to show an interest in them, and satisfy their inner craving for company.

Many marriages are based mainly on Eros – the love of physical appearance. But as age, accident or illness destroy the attractiveness of the other, ‘love’ fades.

Friendship is another ‘love’ which may falter, because it depends a great deal on reciprocation, i.e. “I’ll love you as long as you continue to love me”.

Eros is the response we often have to the outward appearance of someone. Many beautiful women are wildcats underneath, and many handsome men are cruel and nasty in their hidden domestic lives. Look past the face of the one you are attracted to, and see if they have love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, meekness, self-control, goodness, and faithfulness.

Charity is the highest and best form of love, because it endures, even when the marriage partner ceases to be attractive, friendly or affectionate. Charity (Greek – agape) says “I’ll love you no matter what. I’ll love you even if you don’t love me.” As the marriage vow says “For better or for worse, in sickness or in health, till death do us part”. Many marriages break up as soon as problems come along, and instead of working through them, the people run away and look for an easier life. Tough times are God’s way of developing character – not fostering cowardice.

Before you marry, imagine your intended with another fifty, sixty, seventy years added. Will you still love him/her when he/she is old, bent, grey, thin and feeble?

Remember, once you have decided to marry, if you are a Christian, you have made a commitment for the rest of your life. Marriages ‘in the sight of God’ are binding, regardless of what people think or do. You may divorce and leave, but the only way you can remarry and avoid sinning, is if your wife/husband commits adultery or dies. (Matt.19:8,9)

Marriage lasts longer than the ceremony. Once you get home, you enter a never-ending process of work, maintenance and repair. Bills have to be paid, property has to be maintained, children (if any) have to be raised, disciplined, entertained and educated. Marriage is not always happy or easy. A lot of it depends on duty not love, and commitment not enjoyment. The best part of a marriage is quite often the courting stage, because it is all hopes and promises but no commitment. Once the courting is over, the bird is caught and caged, but while it is free the heart is filled with dreams and hopes for a better world.

Wealth.

The only way most people make money is either by 1. Working for it = selling their skills, or 2. Selling something = selling a product. Other ways of making money usually involve more luck than skill, and therefore these ways are not reliable. Gambling usually ends with loss or poverty. More people lose through gambling than win. Gambling is also fickle because it holds out the promise of getting wealth without having to work for it, which is not very satisfying.

One good method of getting wealth is to use youth as an asset. Live as frugally as possible for a number of years, maintaining health at a maximum, and hold at least two jobs. Put the savings into an investment account which reinvests all the interest, and then, when sufficient quarterly interest is being generated, reduce the work load and use the interest payments to meet basic costs. Initially this method is extremely hard, but the result is that for most of your remaining life you will have an ensured basic income for which you will not have to work.

Property.

The best kind of ownership is freehold. Renting is good, provided it includes the landlord having to deal with Rates, maintenance and insurance. If you rent, you can move to another house whenever you like. If you own a house you have to go through the difficult process of selling it. Each path has its own problems and blessings.

Owning your own house is usually cheaper than renting. A small country house may cost an average of about $45 per week to cover power, phone, insurance and Rates. On top of this there is maintenance, which can add more than a thousand per year, ( borer-bombs, septic tank cleaning, tools, garden additions, postage, firewood, mouse and insect repellent, and dozens of little expenses you don’t usually think of until they arrive). Maintenance on a property never stops. Everything eventually needs to be gardened, mowed, painted, cleaned, replaced and repaired.

An ideal property is on the edge of town, and therefore in a lower Rates zone, with a potbelly stove and wetback, and access to cheap or free firewood. The potbelly stove enables you to heat your water, heat the house, dry the clothes on wet days, and cook. It can also save you about $40 per month in power bills.

The best materials for a house are low maintenance. Brick (or concrete) and tile. If you buy wood and corrugated iron, make sure the wood is free of dry rot and borer, and the roof is not a veneer of painted rust.

Clothing.

Second hand stores often stock as-good-as-new garments. They are always worth a look through before buying new. New clothes are usually only new until they have been through the washing machine once anyway. You can save literally thousands of dollars by shopping in second-hand shops.

Goals in life.

We all have our goals in life. Sometimes our main goal is to find what our goal is! A simple rule I use is : “If you don’t do it, say it, or make it for Jesus (either directly or indirectly), it isn’t worth doing, saying or making”. The world claps its hands and cheers at many things, but passing praise is worthless compared to the rewards we will receive if we put Jesus first in all things and try to obey Him at every intersection in our lives. Logically, eternal rewards are far more important than temporary praises.

Think of Eric Liddell, Olympic sprint champion, whose greatest fulfilment in life was not in collecting buckets of medals, bit in serving as a missionary. He used his gifts on the world stage and received many honours, and he said that he “ran for God”, but he also preached the gospel and brought many lost people to faith in Jesus. Abrahams, the Jew, and Eric’s main opponent, was worried about winning, because he knew he had nothing else in life to live for except beating Eric, and if he beat him he faced a blank.

The best way to live for Jesus is to look at whatever you are doing as a ministry. Cleaning the toilet, washing clothes, digging the garden, chatting to a neighbour, shopping, playing, helping . . . however humble, however mundane, whatever job you have, whatever activity you are involved with, do it as if Jesus is watching.

You will find that, if you do this, you hardly ever need to wonder about what God wants you to do in the future, because as you prove yourself faithful in the small things, He will open to you bigger things to be faithful in. Life’s stepping stones are arranged by God, but He never lets you step forward to a new stone until you have mastered the stone you are on.

Education

The very best type of education is commonly known as ‘homeschooling’. This means that the children are brought up, nurtured, and educated by one or both parents. This involves informal lessons most of the time – merely allowing he children to share in the daily activities.

Parents can teach their children how to wash, brush teeth, speak, read, write, garden, cook, dress, and a hundred other skills. They can also teach by example how be sociable, entertain guests, converse, think logically, asses things, develop a value system, and of course understand God’s Word. No ‘normal’, average parent is incapable of raising, training and teaching their own child. Too many parents have swallowed the lie that only the State can educate children.

Some homeschoolers use prepared lessons when their children reach such ages as 9, 10 or 11, and some continue to provide materials right through to the child’s maturity. There is no shortage of resources. Some parents train and educate their children up to perhaps 11 or 12 and then send them to State schooling. This is very risky, because State schools are filthy with evolution, worldly standards, vain fashions, carnal knowledge, and Satanism in its many guises. some Christian children buckle and collapse under the pressure, others survive.

Some children (and parents) see some value in gaining State school qualifications, but the Bible shows that God is able to promote a person to any position without any need to gain worldly qualifications. (i.e. Joseph and Daniel)

The Bible commands parents to train their children up – too many Christian parents abandon their children to pre-school, kindergarten, primary, secondary and other educational systems – and then wonder why their children go off the rails. The promise (Prov.22:6) applies only to parents who obey the command.

The second best choice is a Christian school, but quite often the school charter and the ideals are not matched by the school’s performance, and quite often, in an integrated school, some of the worst children are sent (for ‘reform’) along with some of the best.

Christian teachers can also sometimes be difficult to cope with, applying themselves with often over-zealous, or legalistic, or ‘peculiar’ behaviour, similar to missionary zeal.

Christian schools can become religious nightmares for children, so ask and enquire thoroughly before sending your child to one.

Schools are, basically, surrogate homes with professional surrogate parents, which is why the argument for homeschooling is the most reasonable and Scriptural choice.

Witnessing.

One last thing. You can’t catch fish unless the fish are hungry, so don’t waste your time trying to bring people to Christ who don’t want to be saved. When you meet someone, and you want to witness to them, ‘test the waters’ first in a subtle or tactful way, and see what the response is. If the response is good, keep going. If the person slams a wall up, keep away from Christian topics, otherwise you’ll antagonize them, and probably generate ill-will.

Your most powerful weapon next to the gospel is good works.

If you lose an argument or debate, lose gracefully, so the other person sees Christ in you.

You are not responsible for the lost, God is, and God has made ample provision for the lost to be saved. Nature speaks of His divine reality, and all normal people have a conscience, which convicts all sinners, and shows them their need for forgiveness. In the Western world the accessibility of Christianity is enormous, so there is no need for Christians in the West to fret and worry about the lost. The lost are always lost because they want to be.

Weapons you need to be a good witness :

Your own personal testimony, of how you became a Christian. Prepare it and practice it.

A thorough understanding, and solid belief in the book of Genesis and its implications.

Christian apologetics. There is now a wealth of powerful argument and evidence for Christianity. Become familiar with it and be fully armed, ready to demolish the reasonings of evolution and other deceptions.

The one thing you can take to heaven with you is your children – so I’m expecting to see you there when we meet on that happy day.

God bless – Dad.

Adultery

April 22nd, 2010 - The Family

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There are several meanings to this word.

The first is the most common. It means sexual intercourse between two people, one or both of whom are already married to another person. It is the willful violation of the marriage contract. It was the only grounds for which a husband could “put away” or divorce his wife.

“The Pharisees also came to him, testing him, and saying to him, Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason? And he answered and said to them, “Have you not read that he who made them at the beginning made them male and female? . . . .whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery, and whoever marries her who is divorced, commits adultery.” Mat. 19:1-10 Paul agrees with the “one flesh” teaching of husband and wife, in Eph. 5:22-33 but there is a heavy spiritual meaning woven into this passage too, which will be dealt with next.

The second is not so common. It refers to spiritual adultery, not physical. When Israel turned from the Living God to idols. God said that his people (his Wife) was being unfaithful and committing spiritual adultery when she worshipped idols. ‘Then I saw that for all the causes that backsliding Israel had committed adultery, I had put her away, and given her a certificate of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah did not fear, but went and played the harlot also.” Jer. 3:6-10 “Ephraim has hired lovers.” Hos. 8:9 “You are an adulterous wife, who lakes strangers instead of her husband.” Ez. 16:31-34.

A church too can commit adultery, as in Rev. 2:18-26. Thyatira is condemned for allowing a “Jezebel” sprit into her midst. It was Jezebel who killed the prophets of the Lord in the OT. 1 Kings 18:13. It seems peculiar that such a hateful leaching could spring up inside the church, but it did, in the form of the Papacy, wherein the popes proclaimed themselves vicars of Christ, yet slew true Christians in the name of Christ! (This is the Historicist view, which is not accepted by all Christians. The Jezebel spirit may also be interpreted in other ways.)

A generation can be called adulterous. For example, when the scribes and Pharisees came to Jesus asking for a “sign” (and at the same time ignored the many hundreds of astonishing miracles) Jesus said: “An evil and adulterous generation seeks after a sign,” Mat. 12: 38, 39. The Pharisees were such a mixture of Scripture and traditions that they could not discern one from the other. Their traditions blinded them to the truth.

The third is more general. Any immoral thought can be called adulterous. “For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies.” Mat. 15:19,20.

Obviously one does not need to commit any physical act to be an adulterer. Jesus pointed out that if a man lusts after a woman he has “committed adultery with her already in his heart”. It was also the “thoughts of the imagination of the hearts” of the people before the Flood which condemned them to judgment. Externally they may have looked quite ‘respectable’. Likewise the people of Nineveh.

A fourth meaning is “to mix two or more different things together.”

“You shall not let your livestock breed with another kind. You shall not sow your field with mixed seed. Nor shall a garment of mixed woolen and linen come upon you.” Lev.19:19.

“Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.” 1John 2:15-17. The “world” is defined as the desire of the flesh = a craving for sensual gratification, the desire of the eyes = greedy longings, and the pride of life = an assurance of one’s own resources, and a contentment with the stability of earthly things. Christians are told to separate themselves from worldliness – not from the world as God created it. In this case, if a Christian falls away, and begins to allow the world and sin and carnality and disobedience into his or her life, they can be said to be adulterating their Christian life. They are spiritual adulterers.

Adulterate.

The Thesaurus says “To make impure or inferior by deceptively adding foreign substances. To load, doctor, dope, debase or sophisticate. (It is interesting to note in passing that the word ‘sophisticated’ was not a compliment when it was first used, but has since become on. In the same way the word ‘pragmatist’ has also changed to mean someone keen-minded and positive generally, rather than cold and rather ruthless).

A good life may be spoiled by adultery of a different sort. As Paul said: “A little leaven leavens the whole lump.” 1 Cor.5:6-8. In this context, Paul is speaking about the sinful nature (glorying, pride, boasting, malice, wickedness, insincerity, lies) and its effect on holy Christian living.

Having said all this the subject is still wide open to discussion because every Christian has their own interpretation of what constitutes worldliness. As Paul said, one may eat vegetables and one may eat meat. We are not to judge one another, or try to impose our own standards of morality on other Christians. What may be acceptable to one Christian may be offensive to another. The main rule is for each of us to walk before God with clean hands and a good attitude, and then to be careful that our own freedom does not cause another Christian to stumble.

Divorce and remarriage

Children

Families

Advice from Dad

Adultery

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